This War Is Ours
by Mikuxmew85
Summary: She was a Shepard. Never once did she shed a tear. Never once did she see her life flash before her eyes... Not until she realized she'd never see him again. He thought he was the one that needed her... But she was always the one that needed him...
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is my first fanfiction that has ever been published, so I'm not really sure how this is going to turn out. But I welcome reviews or whatever you'd like to throw at me.  
>I-naturally-don't own anything that has to do with Mass Effect (unfortunately, or else 3's ending would've been completely different). All I own is Cai Shepard. (Elunaa belongs to my sister and credit goes to her). This is purely for fun and is no way trying to claim anything of Mass Effect for myself. I hope you enjoy.<p>

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><p>Chapter 01<p>

_When you're staring death in the face, your life flashes before your eyes._

Cai Shepard had never believed that sentence before. She greeted Death every day, like an old friend. She believed the N7 dog-tags around her neck proved how much she had survived. She stood at her end realizing how far she had come. She survived that attack on Mindoir from the slavers, losing her parents at a young age and believing her sister, Elunaa, to have died along with them. Never once did she see her life flash before her eyes, never once did she shed a tear. When she joined the Alliance Military a few years after being saved on Mindoir by a passing soldier she was able to find out that her sister had also escaped Mindoir and took refuge on Earth where she had become an orphan. Later, Cai found out that her sister had joined the Alliance Military.

For some reason, the Shepard sisters' service was never run-of-the-mill. Elunaa participated in the Skyllian Blitz where she had rallied the colonists against the invaders and sealed the breach single-handedly when the invaders broke through the colony's defenses. While Cai's mission history contained the horrid memory known as Akuze. Who could forget that? Cai's whole unit was wiped out by a thresher maw. She was the only one who had come back, but, never once did Commander Shepard shed a tear. Not when Kaiden and Ashley stayed behind on Virmire to detonate that bomb, not when Legion died at the Collector base, not when her crew was processed to power a Reaper, nor when she evacuated Earth and hundreds die right in front of her eyes. She never shed a tear.

That isn't to say that it didn't weigh heavily on her heart, that it didn't tear at her while she slept. She had nightmares of her choices. The _what if's _screaming in her head over and over again. Could she have saved them all? Some hero she was... During the nightmares, they called. Those that had died, those that had sacrificed themselves. Some she was sure her brain had just created to torture her even more. Then there was that child on Earth that had ran from her and that she watched die. She ran so slow in those dreams, running to give them help and that child that continued to run from her;

_Shepard._

_Help me!_

_...I'm proud to have been under your command._

_Don't worry, it'll be okay._

_You're a good kid. I'm proud of you._

No matter how much she tried to run, no matter how fast she tried to run she never was able to help those that whispered for help in her dreams or help that child.

Shepard blinked and realized that she had been in her thoughts this whole time. She stood at the top of the Citadel, what only could be described as the control room for the whole place. It was ironic to her that the Catalyst they had been searching for the whole time had been right under their noses. She stared at the choices before her that the child-like VI had given her. As the VI said, she had a choice to make and she was the only one who could make it and truly end this cycle; this war and save all those lives that were still fighting to save their families.

To her left was the choice to control the Reapers. If Cai made this choice, she would be dead and her knowledge would be collectively gathered into the Reaper's knowledge. She wouldn't be aware of herself, have no feelings, or anything. There would be no more Commander Cai Shepard. Yet, there was so much knowledge to be shared and gained in the Reapers—The Illusive Man was right about that. But was that even her choice to make? The Reapers had taken so much from so many families, so was it right to let them "live" and be controlled when so many families and planets perished because of them? No. Cai knew that she couldn't do that. That was against her morals and it was a slap in the face to those valiant soldiers who had died to give her the chance to make it this far. Like Anderson... He sat there with that wound in his abdomen gazing at Earth's beauty. There was a serene smile on his face, like he knew that everything was going to be okay. He exhaled peacefully as his life left him. Anderson would never get to see his hometown rebuilt... And it was all her fault. Anderson would never get to show her London. Yes, she knew that she was controlled. Yet, at the same time, she also knew that her finger was the one who pulled the trigger, she was the one that took his life from him. Kept him away from seeing London again after being rebuilt back to its former glory.

In front of her, Cai had the option to merge synthetics and organics together. Synthetics would gain an understanding of organics and organics would be able to use the technology to make their lives easier. This seemed like a good option. Cai took a step towards that beam of light in front of her before freezing. Creating an alternate DNA? Images flashed through her mind, the people on that battlefield out there—humans, Asari, Turian, Quarian, Krogan—fighting for their lives and everyone else's around them freezing and feeling their selves being changed.

_If I did this... those people would cease to exist as themselves anymore. _Cai thought.

Cai turned her weak body and looked to her right. Her vision was fading quickly and she couldn't make out whether a pod or a generator that awaited the choice of destroying the Reapers. Desperation filled her. She was this close to destroying the Reapers and freeing everyone in the galaxy from this torment. She needed to get there. As she began to move, she noticed that everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Each step she took, her mind began to wander and think of her comrades that were waiting for her. How different they were, but by uniting they were able to bring each race together and fight against the Reapers. When she thought of this, something happened that had never happened before in her life. Her chest tightened and a stinging sensation pierced behind her eyes. She blinked her eyes, holding it back.

_Not here... Not now. _Cai begged herself. She kept her eyes forward as she continued to limp her way towards the choice that would let her destroy the Reapers. Voices continued to play, images of the faces that matched the voices flashing through my head as they spoke.

The Assassin

_This disease is going to kill me... I want to be able to see my son before then..._

The Asari Commando

_It's my duty to protect my children... And I failed._

The Cerberus Cheerleader

_I was genetically enhanced to be perfect, but that didn't make me any less human._

The Tank bred Krogan

_Don't underestimate me because I was tank bred._

The Quarian Mechanic

_Keelah Se'lai. Having the name 'Normandy' to my name was supposed to be a mark of shame. But, I wear it as a badge of pride. I am proud to be Tali'Zorah vas Normandy._

The Unshackled AI

_That was a joke._

The Brittle-Boned Pilot

_I'm the best damn pilot around._

The Scientist Salarian

_I would've liked to have studied those seashells._

The Master Thief

_Shepard, you should wear a dress more often._

Subject Zero

_Teaching these kids gives me something to live for._

The Mercenary

_You've got some quads, Princess._

The Biotic

_L2 Implants may be outdated, but I wouldn't upgrade for anything._

The Soldier

_I have.. a sister back on Earth._

The Conscious Geth

_Shepard-Commander, we will trust you._

The Asari Scientist

_Shepard...I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm proud to have served with you._

The Smart-Mouthed Soldier

_What...? I got the munchies..._

The Uncertain Cerberus Operative

_I'm.. going to be a dad, Shepard._

The Unique Sister

_Cai... Come back alive. I haven't made fun of you enough..._

Cai looked at her target and shakily lifted her pistol that she had taken from one of the fallen soldiers outside. With her vision failing, her hearing was intensifying to make up for the lack of sight. With each breath, Cai could hear her blood dropping onto the floor beneath her.  
><em>It's now or never... <em>Cai thought to herself pulling the trigger. The shot rang out and hurt her ears. Never before had a gunshot sounded so deafening. She heard the slight _crack _of the glass breaking, knowing that she had hit her target. A small bout of strength filled her and she began to hobble towards her target. One last person's voice filled her head.

The Turian Rebel. _Her _Turian Rebel. The Archangel. _Her _Archangel.

_Shepard...Cai.. Is that really you?_

She pulled the trigger once more hearing the glass crack.

_It would take a lot more than a rocket to bring me down._

Cai struggled to keep her hand up as she pulled the trigger once more.

_Are you a one Turian kind of woman?_

Again.

_There's no Shepard without Vakarian._

_After this, we can retreat somewhere nice and warm, by the beach. Maybe find out what a Human-Turian baby looks like?_

In the haze of her failing vision, Cai could barely make out the glass. With one more shot, it would break. One more shot and this would be over. Done. For the first time since she joined the Alliance Military, Cai struggled to pull the trigger. Not because she didn't have the strength to, but because she knew that when she did, she wouldn't be able to hear his voice anymore. She wouldn't be able to feel his hand against her skin. Hear his voice in her ear. Hear him whisper shyly, _'Morning, Cai.' _in her ear when he woke up. She knew she had to pull it. This wasn't just about her. This was about the galaxy. Cai closed her eyes, her chest tightening painfully and her breathing becoming more difficult. For the first time since she could ever recall, a tear fell down her cheek.  
><em>I'm sorry...<br>_Just as Cai felt that tear fall from her face, she pulled the trigger. She heard his voice one last time as the shot rang out and her world went black.

_Shepard—no, Cai. I... I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Roronoa Star 96, thanks so much for the follow. I'm not sure if anyone else is reading this, but it's nice to know that I didn't put all this thought into it for nothing. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the title is from an Escape the Fate song of the same title, so credit goes to them for that. I can't really think of anything else to say, so here comes another chapter.

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><p>Chapter 02<p>

"Jeff, we have to go." EDI said, her monotonous voice the only thing heard in the bridge besides Joker tapping wildly on the screens in front of his face. EDI said what they all knew, but none of them had the heart—or guts—to say. They had stayed, but was unable to see any signs of Shepard or anyone else coming to the rendezvous point, yet Joker didn't move. Even though they were quiet, tension filled the air on the bridge of the Normandy. Vega fidgeted while watching. Liara looked at Tali, but the Quarian was unable to tear her eyes away from the rendezvous point. Even Elunaa was silent, which was something that never happened.

_Please Spirits, let her come out of this... _Garrus prayed as he stared out of the glass.

He _never _prayed. Why would he have a reason to when he had everything he had ever wanted or needed by his side? As he stared, he remembered what _she _had said. She had said forever. She had said always. Had he known that _"forever" _and _"always" _would have come so soon, he would've done everything to stop her from going. He would've kept her closer, held her tighter. He would've told her more how much he loved her. He would've danced more with her, taken her on more dates... told her more how beautiful she was... how perfect. Garrus felt a pain in his chest, who was he kidding? There was no time where this would be okay, it would always be too soon for Cai to leave.

Garrus chanced a look at Joker, seeing defeat creep up into his eyes. He gripped the back of Joker's chair with much more force than he knew that he possessed. He prayed over and over that Joker would stay.  
><em>Just a little longer... Please..<em>. He begged in his mind. Joker heaved a sigh, sounding defeated. _Please... no..._

"...Fine..." Joker said, his voice low and hurt. Everyone looked shocked. Shepard had never left them behind, and now they were going to leave her? Garrus was trying to wrap his head around the sense behind Joker's decision.

In the years since Eden Prime, he had heard many explosions, but none had ever made his blood turn cold as this one did. The place where Cai was expected to come out was being quickly consumed by flames.  
>"Now!" EDI demanded.<br>"We can't just leave her there!" Elunaa spoke up, yelling. Garrus wasn't sure whether she was yelling at Joker or EDI, but she couldn't tear her eyes from the flames. Vega had to hold her back as she struggled. Garrus was sure that if she wasn't being held back, Joker would've gotten more than her yelling at him.  
>"We don't have a choice!" Joker exclaimed back at her, preparing the Normandy for take off. A shock wave shook the Normandy making everyone cry out in surprise. In front of them, a orange wave began to form. "Shit!" Joker cried out and kicked the Normandy into full drive. Whatever that orange shock wave was, didn't look too friendly. If this were a different situation, he was sure he would've heard laughter.<p>

"_You've earned your star once more, Garrus." _Garrus remembered the sound of her voice; soft and strong when she would tease him. Cai always used say that she should give him a gold star to prove his position as '_Captain Obvious'. _

The Normandy was barely outrunning that shock wave. It was destroying the Reapers like they were your average enemy. The more he watched, he saw more synthetics getting decimated before his eyes. Only synthetics. They all fell under the power of this... this wave. Garrus realized something. Cai was part synthetic. He knew that if a Turian's face could pale, his would be devoid of blood. There was a faint hope in his heart that somehow Shepard would make it out of there. This was _Cai _after all_._ She had defeated the collectors, survived a suicide mission, defeated Saren, and had defeated a Reaper single-handedly. There wasn't anything that could keep Cai down. She always defeated the odds, yet as the Normandy shook from the power of the shock wave that was hot on its tail he realized how faint of a hope this was. If there was anything Garrus didn't want to face, it was the reality of the situation.

Cai.. She wasn't coming back... Even for her. She was Cai Shepard, but she was still mortal...

_"If I don't make it out of this, I just want you to know. I love you, Garrus. I always will." _Those words rang repeatedly in my head. Those were the last words that he heard from her. The last words that he would _ever _hear from her again. Why did it all have to fall on her shoulders? Why did she take it all on her shoulders? Why didn't she ask for help? It wasn't like she didn't have people who would help her. She had a sister. She had friends.  
><em>She had me... <em>

"Hold on!" Joker's voice called him out of his thoughts. The Normandy was outrunning the shock wave, but just barely, it nipping at its tail as they flew away. Garrus knew that if they had any other pilot besides Joker, they would've been done for long ago. He was sure they wouldn't have lived to see the other side of the Omega 4 Relay all those years ago. Sometime during the struggle, Garrus realized that he had grabbed onto Joker's chair with both hands to make sure that he didn't fall. Crew members were stumbling around, some were falling to the ground while others tried to find something to grab onto to prevent them from falling. The only one that wasn't phased or stumbling was EDI, but that was to be expected. Screams from the crew were heard as fear became thick in the air.

Just as quickly as the wave had appeared, it stopped. The galaxy was as black and starry as ever. Joker exhaled and leaned back in his chair. Garrus had to look away when EDI put her hand on Joker's shoulder and he put his hand over her's. Glances and looks were exchanged on the bridge, everyone was making sure that they were alright and no one was hurt, however, none of them felt this as a victory. They couldn't smile let alone cheer like the rest of the crew was doing. Garrus stared at them, they didn't understand.  
><em>We lost something more than a <em>Commander. _A sister, a friend, a confidant, a shoulder to cry on. _

Garrus looked at his hands. He thought about the question he was going to ask when this was all over. _When _they made it out of this. Not if. _When. _He thought about how he would hold her hand and put a ring on it. He had thought about how she would look in white with a smile on her face... she was his and his alone. Garrus thought how he would hear her in front of all their friends and family.

'_I love you, Garrus.' _

"...Keelah..." Tali spoke, breaking the silence. She was looking down and her hand was on her helmet. Her speaking seemed to give others the green light that they could speak.

"What was that?" Liara asked as the Normandy coasted through space, having no real destination in mind at the moment.

"Not sure, but whatever it was..." Joker began, turning his gaze towards what looked like the remnants of a Mass Relay. "It destroyed even the Mass Relays." He said, letting the Normandy move through space. Garrus looked shocked, those Mass Relays had been there for so long, they seemed as impenetrable as the Citadel itself, but here they were in ruins.

"I didn't even think that was possible..." Elunaa spoke, her voice somewhere between shock and hopelessness.

Garrus stood there and listened to the others talk. No one asked him for his opinion and for that, he was thankful. He wasn't sure what he would say—or scream—if he was asked anything. Or even if he would be able to utter any words.

"_No no no no, I can't dance!"_

"_I love you, Garrus Vakarian."_

"_I've woke up with a Turian next to me."_

"_There's no Shepard without Vakarian."_

"_Get him out of here!"_

"_I love you, Garrus. I always will..."_

The voices of the others had droned into a hum and he was unable to understand anything they were saying. Honestly, he didn't care. He was focused on Cai's voice in his head and what she was saying. It was like those records that were played on Earth back in the 1960's. _'Like a broken record' _he believed the saying was.

"...over there." Garrus heard EDI's metallic voice, catching the last bit of her conversation.

"Do you think that's wise?" Liara asked.

"We're going to have to set her down and look her once over for repairs, why not somewhere where we know there's nothing ready to kill us down there?" Joker asked with a joking tone, turning the Normandy towards a destination. It seemed he realized what he said the moment that the words left his mouth. He froze navigating the Normandy for a moment . Everyone froze, including Garrus. Silence filled the bridge once more and suddenly it seemed like there was one person too many. He turned around and left, no one tried to stop him and they just moved out of the way. The still cheering crew was talking among themselves and not paying attention to Garrus as he went to the elevator.

Garrus had been to Cai's personal cabin many times before. Sometimes it was to chat, other times to... not. Now, it felt foreign for him to be there, like he didn't belong. Yet, at the same time, if anyone was allowed in the cabin, he believed it would be him. He looked around the room and noticed how just a few hours ago, Cai had been roaming around here. In just one day, so much had changed, but the cabin stayed the same. Like a museum or memorial. Garrus choked mentally at the word _'memorial'. _The fish swam in the tank without a care in the world. He remembered when he had made fun of Cai for not being able to keep her fish alive for more than a week because she forgot to feed them. To rectify that, he had found an automatic fish feeder on the Citadel and bought it for her for her birthday since she had _insisted _on keeping fish in her cabin. He remembered standing in front of it and touching her cheek and leaning down to kiss her. He had been so nervous then, but he always was around her. He was scared she wouldn't like kissing a Turian, that she would find it disgusting and change her mind about them. He believed that no matter how long he was around her, he would always be nervous, she would always have that effect on him. Everything in the cabin seemed to have some memory attached to it. In the glass display above her computer, she kept models of ships. Garrus had found and bought some models for her. He didn't care how many credits he was spending on what Vega had called _trivial _items. All he cared about was having her look up at him with those bright blue eyes, smile, and say

_'Thank you, Garrus! I love it.' _ He was not the only one who bought her models, Tali bought her one. Liara did. In fact, the more he looked at her belongings, the more he realized most of the things in this cabin were a gift to her from someone. Really, the only things that Cai had gotten herself was her armor, her computer, and her alarm clock.

Garrus looked at her desk, the computer was still on and data pads were on the desk. This was the cabin of someone who had every intention of returning, now it became a place that simply felt empty. His eyes traveled to the bed; unmade as always.

"_Didn't have the time." _was one excuse. _"Why make it when I'm just going to get back in it later?" _was another. Garrus' personal favorite, _"The one that comes up to my cabin the most will just make a made bed messy again, so what's the point?".  
><em>He walked passed the desk, letting his fingers skim across the edge and went to stand next to the bed. The bed that she called _'our bed'. _Garrus remembered when she had said that, he had stood there shocked, his mandibles flaring slightly in shock and embarrassment when she had said that. While she had smiled at him, he had reached out and held her hands, lacing their fingers together. Now, looking at the bed made him want to cry.

Despite this, he crawled into _their _bed and laid his down on the pillow that she had deemed was his. He laid there and stared ahead where Cai would be, forcing his breathing to becoming even, pushing back the tears that threatened to escape. As he stared at the empty spot that held Cai during the night, his mind wandered to the first time he was able to hold her in their bed. He remembered it like it had happened yesterday. Her chest had risen and fallen so gently. Looking at her, you wouldn't realize that she was such a necessity to this galaxy. No one would realize how revered she was, how much her crew and team respected her and would follow her into the deepest pits of Hell just because she asked. You'd never be able to tell that she was the only one who could stop this war. Most of all, you'd never be able to tell that Cai Shepard was in love with a Turian. During that first night as he watched her sleep, she had shivered in her sleep. He couldn't help but notice how vulnerable she looked in that moment. She wasn't the revered, Commander Shepard. She wasn't the only hope in the galaxy. In that moment, she was just Cai. _His _Cai. Garrus had slowly pulled the blanket higher on her shoulders. She had stopped shivering and her lips curved into a relaxed smile.  
>"<em>Garrus." <em>She had said through an exhale. For a moment, he had thought she was awake. When he realized that she was still sleeping it hit him. This woman. This beacon of hope said _his _name. Out of all the people, Human, Asari, Quarian, or Turian she had said _his _name. He realized then, perhaps she loved him just as much as he loved her.

During his thoughts, he had closed his eyes and pulled Cai's pillow close to him. All he had were those memories and that pillow that felt nothing like her. He'd touched humans before, whether it was to help them up on the battlefield or to give them a clasp on the shoulder, or even a handshake, but never before had a human's skin felt so soft before as her's did. That pillow didn't have the feel that she did when it touched his mandibles. He tried his hardest to make his mind believe that she was the one caressing his face, but it was no use. Nothing could even feel close to her. The pillow didn't have the curves that she did. The curves that Garrus touched holding her when he made her dance with him, hugging her, holding her when she slept, when they kissed, when he needed comfort, or just because he could. The pillow didn't have the soft breathing that he would hear and feel when he held her close as she slept. That breathing that was able to send his heart racing and make him nervous. The only thing this pillow had was her scent...  
><em>That's the only thing I have left of her... The only thing I can keep and hold onto.<em>


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 03

A sharp pain. A gasp. Her eyes opened quickly and looked around. Cai's breathing rapidly quickened, like she had never taken a breath before in her life. She felt like she had died and come back to life. She looked around, unable to see anything in front of her or around her. Darkness was all around. Cai had been in dark places all her life, but never like this. This darkness was thick, impenetrable. Even when her eyes focused, there was nothing to see. There was no getting away from it and closing your eyes made everything feel like it was closing in. She tried to move her arms and legs, but they wouldn't lift high enough to cause a disturbance.  
><em>Where am I...? Why the hell can't I move?<br>_A headache ripped through her temples and made her grunt in pain. She was so tired... All she wanted to do was lay her head back and close her eyes and just sleep. If she fell asleep, she didn't know what would happen.  
><em>Where would I wake up...? Would I wake up at all?<em>

Silence was just as thick and menacing as the darkness and the pain was lulling her into slumber until she heard a voice,

"_I want to believe it as much as the next person, but we have to face reality here." _Trying to put a face and name to the voice made her head hurt even more. Who was it...? Her eyes widened when the name hit her like a ton of bricks.  
><em>Kasumi?! <em>

Rushes of images came floating back in my head. Eden Prime, the beacon, getting control of the Normandy, becoming the first Human Spectre, being reunited with Elunaa, taking down Saren. Dying, being rebuilt by Cerberus, discovering the Reapers. _Reapers... _The war, leaving Earth, gathering the galaxy, coming back, fighting, the child, the choice, sending Garrus to get medical aid. _Garrus. _Suddenly, her breathing became frantic as she remembered the Turian that had changed her life. The man that she loved. She became desperate and tried her hardest to move, but pain prevented her from doing so. She tried to call out to Kasumi, but her vocal cords were scratchy and a small, strained sound came from her lips.

"_Reality? Shepard has never been contained to the realm of 'reality'." _She heard another voice; Samara. Weren't they supposed to be gone? Why were they still here? She tried to call again, but the same sound came out. There was no telling if it made it to their ears or not.

"_Just fucking look! After everything that she's done, and you can't spend a few minutes of your time fucking looking?!" _That had to be Jack. Were they _all _here? _"All you have to do is fucking look! Is that so goddamn difficult?!"_ Cai had never heard Jack sound so worried or distraught.

Despite the pain that was radiating from every part of her body, she struggled again. No sounds or footsteps could be heard, and for a moment she thought they had walked away. Tears gathered in her eyes and she let out a small sound that was a cross between pain and sadness. If they had left, reality hit her that she wouldn't be able to get out of here. Dying wasn't the part that worried her if she was all alone, she'd already died once before, what was another time? No. What she worried about and what tore at her heart and soul was the thought of never seeing Garrus again. Him never knowing that she survived and that she was alive and thinking about him in this moment.

"_You're right..." _Kasumi spoke again. Cai exhaled and laid her head back. They were still there... There was still a chance that they'd find her. Through these years, they'd entrusted their lives to her. Now it was time for her to entrust her life to them. Cai parted her lips to try to utter a sound that wasn't so pitiful, but was cut off by a deep voice.

"_I heard something over there." _Grunt's voice.

"_You sure?"_

"_A Krogan's ears are never wrong." _

The sounds of footsteps running got closer and closer. Cai closed her eyes, knowing that they were getting closer. Hopefully, they would figure out where she was at. She had no voice to call out with and her body was so weak, she couldn't struggle anymore to give them a hint. Cai's eyes widened when it sounded like they were standing on whatever she was trapped under.

"I feel the presence of a Human underneath this rubble." Samara said.

"Samara, help me here!" Jack's voice was heard and Cai could hear the movement of feet and the strange sound of biotics. The air became fresher when rubble was being lifted off of her. Pressure left her chest and soon grunting was heard as other pieces of rubble were being pulled off. Light penetrated her eyes from Omni-tool flashlights. It was hard for Cai to look above her with the lights. One of her companions—she couldn't tell which—seemed to notice and the blinding lights were put out.

When her eyes focused, she saw ten eyes staring at her, each face marked with the same expressions; disbelief and slight amusement. The rest of the rubble was being moved by Jack and Samara after they had given her that shocked look. Cai looked around at her friends and blinked her eyes. Even if she had something to say, with how raw her throat was, she would be unable to say it.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," A voice said, offering a hand to help her up. "You've got some quads, Princess." Wrex laughed and helped her up, him and Kasumi steadying her when her legs gave out.

The sunlight broke through the horizon, shining down on Earth. She didn't know how many years it would take to rebuild it, but the point was it would happen. It could now. Now that the Reapers were gone and the cycle was truly broken, they could continue to grow and repair and live without the threat of being annihilated. Even Cai herself didn't know what she would do now that she was free of the Reaper threat. She had a choice. That was the most important thing... She could now _choose _what to do with the rest of her life. There was no living minute to minute or even second to second.  
><em>We did it, Anderson... London is still here, Earth is still here... and it's all beautiful... Rest in peace.<em>

"I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it." Kasumi said in disbelief.

"Goddamn, Cai, isn't there anything that can keep you down?" Jack laughed. Actually _laughed_.

"Right now, Cai needs medical attention. Let us get her to a med bay." Samara's voice of reason broke through the happiness. With everyone's help in one way or another, she was making it to a medical bay that was treating the wounded soldiers. Cai's mind wandered back to before she made the choice and the friends that were on the Normandy. She wanted to ask about it, but...  
><em>I'm scared to know the answer...<em>

"The Normandy made it out fine." Grunt said as if he was reading her mind. Cai's head fell in relief and she couldn't hide the smile that came to her lips.  
><em>They're fine... They made it out okay...<em>

"You'll be back with that Turian boyfriend of yours in no time." Wrex said and gave Cai's back his version of a comforting smack, but almost made her fall over and pain radiate through every nerve in her body. "Oops..." Was all he said.

The walk to the medical bay seemed to take years, and each step was slower than the last. Cai had to stop many times to get some more air into her lungs, but eventually, Cai and her entourage made it to the medical bay who were carrying her by the time they arrived. At once, she was taken to rest and began to get treated. The nurses and doctors muttering among themselves about how Cai _'had made it through another one'._  
>"Thanks..." Was all that Cai managed to say. The tension was relieved from her body and her eyes closed. She knew that she was in good hands and it was alright to sleep. They would take good care of her, she entrusted her life to them. They wouldn't let her down.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 04

At some time during the night, Garrus had found the comforting oblivion of slumber. When his eyes opened, he had his arm over something soft, hugging it. In the few moments of beautiful ignorance, a flutter of the mandibles and a relieved sigh escaped him. He blinked his eyes a couple times, the haze of half-slumber dimming. When the haze cleared, it only took a split second to have the illusion crash. He remembered everything from the previous day. Remembered that Cai was no longer with him, he looked at the object he had mistaken for her when first waking up; her pillow. As if it was burning him, he took his arm from around the soft object.

_I prayed to you spirits once... The one time I ask for something..._

He got up, unsure of what to do with myself now. We had promised that we'd retire somewhere warm and tropical, by the beach and find out what a Human-Turian baby looked like. Garrus sighed again. That was his plan. That was his future. _Their _future...

Without that, life seemed so dull. As cliched as it sounded, Cai Shepard was the one person that could bring color to everything around him. Without that plan, without _her, _he didn't know what he'd do. Garrus looked at the door that led out of Cai's cabin then back to the bed. Would he ever come back up here? Or would he just close the door and lock it behind him, keeping their memories locked away in the room as well as his heart for no one else to see?

With that thought in mind, Garrus walked slowly towards the elevator, each step getting harder and harder to make. He pressed the button to take him to the Combat Information Center. Walking out of the elevator, he expected to see the memorial wall that held the names of fallen soldiers, Miranda Lawson, Ashley Williams, Kaiden Alenko, and Mordin Solus—to name a few—what he hadn't expected however, was to see the teammates gathered around the wall. No one turned to see who had walked out of the elevator, at the moment it seemed obvious. Garrus looked at the backs of his friends, seeing Joker's hand holding a rectangular metal plate. He felt his body freeze, his blood turning cold in his veins like it froze. He hoped with all his might that the name on the plate wasn't who he thought. On the memorial wall were new names, others that were lost in the cause, but died bravely. In the middle with high honor was Admiral Anderson's name. Feeling this was his duty, and his alone, he moved through the tiny crowd of his friends to the front where Joker handed him the name plate. The whole way he had prayed and prayed that her name wouldn't be on that name plate.  
>Looking down, his breath caught in his throat. He had seen this name so many times, but never in something as final as this. Never engraved like this. I felt the stinging behind my eyes and her voice in my head as she introduced herself that day:<p>

_Commander Cai Shepard_

Garrus knew that they were all watching. He could feel their eyes on him as they waited. His eyes were glued to the name plate, not caring that they were staring and waiting. He knew that he had to put it there, under Admiral Anderson's name.  
><em>I'm just like everyone else. Mortal. I'm nothing to be revered, I'm just a Human. <em>Garrus remembered those words all too clearly. She said it, yet... None of them truly believed it until they saw the name plate in Garrus' hand. She _was _mortal. He knew it... He just hadn't _realized _it.

He ran his fingers over the letters that made her name. Three letters. Three simple letters that he never knew when they first met that would end up meaning so much to him. So many memories in three simple letters. So many feelings. Garrus turned his eyes to look at the spot that was awaiting Cai's name plate. He knew that he had to put it there, but that would make it final. Cai would be dead. For good this time. Cerberus wasn't here to bring her back... From the explosion, he didn't even know if there was enough of her to bring back. Garrus felt nausea run through him, his mind painting a picture of a crushed, burned, cut, and bloody Cai. In addition to the nausea, that stinging pain of held back tears prodded behind his eyes. He turned his body to the wall, holding the plate tightly in his hands.  
><em>If she has to rest at all... I want it to be in peace...<em>

Garrus took a small step to the wall, then another, and another slow step. A strangled, choked cry came from the back of his throat as the product of trying not to cry in front of all his friends. He reached down and placed Cai's name under Admiral Anderson's. He put his hand on her name and lowered his head, closing his eyes. His tears began to hit the floor and his shoulders shook, the only indication that he was crying. It was final. Cai was gone.

Thankfully, no one came to put their hand on his shoulder or try to comfort him, it wouldn't have done any good. Nothing good could come out of this, no peace of mind, no solace or peace. No one spoke at all, not even the usual niceties of '_it's okay' _or _'she's in a better place.' _to comfort themselves. They all knew it wasn't okay. Nothing could ever make this _okay. _No one could replace Cai. She was so much more than a commander. A friend, a confidant, a sister, a lover...

When she left, everyone had lost something. He could hear Elunaa behind him, sounding like she herself was trying her hardest not to cry. She had lost her sister, the only family she had left. Now she was alone. Even though they were always at each other's throats and yelling at each other, when it came down to it, they always tried to protect each other. He was sure that Elunaa—just like everyone else—felt like they had let Cai down. He kept his hand on her name plate and felt his tears continue to fall.

_The one time I pray... The one time I ask for something... And I can't keep her by my side. I couldn't protect her. I let myself get hurt and let her protect me. Her blood is on my hands. If I was there... I might have been able to keep her safe. And if I couldn't... I would've been there with her._

"We're here..." Joker said. It was those coordinates that we were flying towards last night. We didn't really know what we would find there. It was somewhere on Earth, and from the preliminary scans that EDI had done, she judged that it was mostly jungle. Garrus tore himself from the wall,  
>"I'm sorry..." He whispered to Cai's name before heading to the bridge with everyone else. The <em>swoosh <em>of the door echoed in the Normandy. Joker was the first to leave the Normandy and stood in the grass.

One by one, Garrus' companions made it out onto the grass to stand around Joker and look around at the sight that was before them. The sun was shining brightly over the mountains, signaling a new and beautiful day. Garrus squinted and covered his eyes against the bright sun that assaulted them as they adjusted to the brightness. Through the fighting and death and sadness, he was finally able to see the beauty that was Earth. This beautiful sunlight was something that Cai wouldn't be able to see even though she was the reason it was here.  
><em>Today I miss you more than ever...<em>

Garrus looked at the scenery and pictured her standing next to him with that beautiful, rare smile that she had. He was sure he'd be staring more at her smiling at the view than actually looking at the view itself. No doubt she would squeeze his hand when he'd take her's and lace their fingers together. No doubt Garrus would get nervous, his mandibles flaring and giving it away. She'd smile and touch his scar which would make his heart beat faster. No matter what she did, holding his hand, kissing him, hugging him, smiling at him, or when she laughed with him he'd feel his pulse quicken and his heartbeat increasing. They had been together for a few years now, and he was sure she'd always have that effect on him. Internally, he felt himself smiling at the thought he had conjured. He'd done that many times when Cai had died in the Normandy crash. He was sure that he had lost her. The only thing that seemed logical was to move to Omega and kill every evil son of a bitch that came after him, his goal was to die fighting. At least he'd be with her. Yet... she had come back. With what he had seen, there was no way Cai could've made it out. She didn't have nine lives. He knew that Cai would tell him that he'd have to move on.

_...How could I ever love another. I'd give anything... for just one more night together._

No other woman could compare. Cai's brown hair that had darkened over the years would shine when the sunlight hit it and against the side of her face, making her already bright blue eyes gleam more. It would be like when he first realized he was in love with her. A human. Out of all the Turian women there were, and he had fallen in love with a human. A strong, independent, beautiful, sincere, and caring woman. What was the most shocking was that she had felt the same. _The _Commander Cai Shepard had fallen in love with him. A simple C-Sec officer. It was the small things he loved about her, like tilting her head to the side left when she thought. Standing there, she would exhale and lay her head the closest her short frame would let her get to his shoulder.

"_I love you, Garrus." _She'd whisper. But no... it was none of that. All that was standing there was him, picturing her next to him. Nothing but an illusion conjured up in his mind to try and cope without having her next to him.

He looked down at the grass under his feet, unable to stare at the beauty of the scenery any longer. It was beautiful, but...

_It would be more beautiful with her beside me... Holding my hand._

Garrus imagined what would happen after this. He'd take her with him on a walk and they'd talk about what they were going to do with their lives now that this was all over. They'd talk about where they'd live. Even if it was somewhere by the beach, he couldn't swim. Turians swimming involved a lot of flailing and splashing and the occasional drowning. It would be enough to sit in the sand and watch the waves and watch her swim with our baby. When he had said that back on the battlefield, Garrus was worried that Cai would think that they were jumping ahead and she'd be scared off. To his surprise, she had been thinking about the same thing.  
><em>There's no Shepard without Vakarian.<em>

With his eyes still on the grass, he continued to dwell on what he would do with his life now. His whole world was turned upside down and inside out. He knew never love someone as much as he loved Cai, or if he could ever fall in love again. What was it again? Humans called that "soul mate" right? He hadn't really thought about the term until he had begun to fall in love with Cai. There was no hope in trying to fall in love again, no one could even begin to compare to her. He saw her with a ring on her finger and a baby in her arms disappearing with each passing second. He exhaled and heard sounds above him, looking up he saw a group of birds flying above them.  
><em>"They look peaceful." <em>She'd say with a smile, putting her arm around mine. Garrus' eyes looked at the spot next to him and saw that she wasn't there. For a moment he was surprised, he'd been concentrating so hard on making it seem like she was next to him that he was able to believe it for those few moments. His eyes returned to look at the ground beneath his feet. When he saw that she hadn't been there, the heartbreak followed once more and the pain in his chest and the nausea, just like he had felt when Joker drove away after the explosion, leaving Cai there.

"I'm going back inside..." Garrus said in a whisper, not caring if anyone truly heard him. He went back into the Normandy.  
>"Do you think he'll be alright?" Liara asked.<br>"...I'm not sure." Joker answered.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 05

Author's Note: _Let me start off by saying a thank you for all of those that have favorited/followed this story or me as an author. That makes me so happy and makes me feel like I didn't start writing this for nothing. Next, I'd like to apologize. I am not happy with this chapter at all. I had major writer's block and I tried my hardest. I tried tweaking this chapter more than 5 times. I completely understand if you don't like it, and I apologize for this extremely boring chapter. It'll get better once this writer's block goes away, so don't lose faith in me. I'm sorry again. Leave any reviews or messages if you like._

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><p>"Do you think she'll be alright?" Cai's eyelids fluttered, hearing Kasumi's voice. Her head throbbed and the people around her were drifting in and out of focus.<br>"Yes." Samara spoke, looking over to where Cai was at watching her blinking her eyes and trying to sit up. "It seems she is awake."

All eyes turned to her and saw her sitting on the edge of the cot holding her head.  
>"I've tried all I could," Cai heard and turned her head to see Jacob walking in the medical bay, tapping on his Omni-tool. "I can't get a message to the Normandy. It seems like their communications were damaged." Cai put her face in her hands, feeling defeated. What if they didn't make it out? Wrex said that they did, but what if something happened after and they perished? "D-Don't worry." He stammered. "Joker is a hell of a pilot, I'm sure that they're fine."<p>

"Yeah, Sunshine." Wrex tried to comfort. That was something that she never thought would happen.

Silence had surrounded everyone in the medical bay. What soldiers hadn't died in the attack had fallen asleep. The others were staring at Cai, waiting. It seemed that old habits died hard of listening and waiting for her command.  
>"I..." Cai spoke, furrowing her brows. She hadn't been able to talk freely in a long time, without the weight on her shoulders. Now that she was free to do as she pleased, she realized just how much she had been holding in. Captain Anderson had told her that she shouldn't hold it all, but Cai believed that if their commanding officer broke down, so would they. "I... I thought I was going to die. For good this time." She confessed, exhaling shakily.<p>

"Beating Death once seemed impossible, but you did that." Jack said, folding her arms. "What's another time?" Cai gave a weak smile and laugh, struggling to stand up.

"You really should stay resting." Kasumi said.

"I won't go far." Cai said and made her way out of the medical bay.

Shepard's blue eyes looked at the sky. She had heard stories how space travel was a process considered impossible. How they believed that Sol was the only star system there was. That there was no one else out there. Even though her friends were waiting for her safe return inside the medical bay, she couldn't help but feel that it was the same. She felt cut off from everyone and everything. The stars shined brightly above her and she couldn't help but wonder where the Normandy was, if everyone was alright. Determination filled her, there had to be something they could do, a ship they could commandere in order to search for the Normandy. With a new thought in mind, she turned and hobbled her way back into the medical bay. Everyone was gathered around each other and they seemed to be debating on something. No doubt they knew that she didn't want to wait around and wait for herself to get better.  
>"Is there a ship I can use?" Cai asked, her eyes determined.<br>"You're hurt and you wanna go on a cruise through space?" Grunt asked, obviously disagreeing with the idea.  
><em>Knew it wouldn't be that easy.<em>

"That's not the point!" Shepard argued. "What if they're hurt or they're stranded!? They can't send out a distress signal. Are you going to be able to live with their blood on your hands?!" Kasumi rubbed the back of her neck, Samara seemed to be pondering the choice, and Jack just threw her hands in the air.  
>"There's no point in arguing." She mumbled.<p>

"I am going to have to protest. You need to rest, Shepard." Samara's calm voice was quite the opposite of the atmosphere among the friends.

"I can rest when I'm dead."

Wrex laughed, "Then it doesn't look like you're ever going to get rest. You can't seem to stay dead." Death glares from the others caused him to clear his throat. "...What? You know it's true." He said as he shrugged.

Jack scoffed and folded her arms.

"We can use mine. The kids are gonna stay here and play clean up." She looked to the door and then back at her comrades. "It's not as big as the Normandy, but it's good enough."

"I'll stay here." Jacob said. "I'll keep trying the Normandy."  
>"I will stay behind as well." Samara spoke and nodded at her friend. "I will tend to the soldiers that are wounded. Please, be safe." Cai nodded. She was surprised that this was going to well. She would've thought that her friends would've argued more, but what were they going to do? Either one of them gave up a ship willingly or she stole it. That's all there was to it.<p>

_I'll be there soon, guys..._

"All right!" Wrex exclaimed, slamming his hands together. "I'm ready to bust some heads!"

Cai looked at Jacob and Samara and hugged each of them with a smile.  
>"Thanks. I'll see you again soon."<p>

"Can we save the mushy stuff for later?" Grunt asked. "I'm sure we'll see enough of it when you and your Turian meet back up."

Jack led them to the ship they would be using. Considering it was almost right in the middle of the battlefield, it was well maintained. Jack was right, it wasn't as big as the Normandy, but Cai didn't think they would need a war ship anyway.

"What the hell are you standing around for?" Jack called from the door. "You wanna go or not?!"

Inside the ship, Cai looked around. She held her side and hobbled to the bridge and looked around. She wished that Joker was here. She sighed, she was missing them more and more with each passing second.

"Move over." Kasumi said, moving passed Grunt and Wrex and sat down in the pilot's chair. "I can drive." Cai took a seat next to Kasumi and let her back rest against the chair.

"You better not crash it." Jack warned. "Where you wanna start, Commander?" Shepard exhaled. She didn't even know where to _begin _to start looking, but she didn't want to let doubt sink into her. It began with doubt and then giving up.

"Let's just concentrate on getting out of here first." She said.  
>"Roger." Kasumi nodded and lifted the ship for take off. "Not bad." She said, moving the ship into space.<p>

Everything was so quiet. Cai had gotten so used to the sounds of ships firing, sounds of distress signals, explosions, and the crew running around. The sounds of war and Joker evading the Reapers. She remembered her sister poking her and randomly saying, "_Have you noticed that the Reapers look like head lice?"_. Truth be told, she partly missed the hustle and bustle that was in the Normandy. Silence was peaceful, but she couldn't help but be on edge. The Shepard's service had never been run-of-the-mill, what the hell made her think that everything was going to go peacefully now?

"Well we'll just have to start somewhere." Grunt said, folding his arms. It was like he was reading Cai's mind with her worry. Nothing was said, but the ship—called Alpha—began to travel away from Earth.

Wrex grunted in irritation. He had been pacing for more than three hours. Their first thought was that they'd be able to get there quicker, after all, they'd just use the Mass Relays. That would make things easier... Right... Cai had put her head in her hands. Naturally, something like this would happen. Naturally they'd be destroyed.

"How long is this going to take?!" Wrex yelled.  
>"You sound like that obnoxious child in the back seat! 'Mommy are we there yet? Mommy are we close?! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! I want a juice box!" Kasumi yelled back rubbing a hand down her face. Cai smirked, trying to hide her sadness. None of them had any idea how long this would take, and though none of them would say it—except Wrex—they were getting restless.<p>

Five hours more had passed and Jack had guided her to a cabin for her to rest in. Jack said she would come wake Shepard up if anything happened and told her to get some rest. Cai laid there, trying her hardest to sleep. Her mind prevented her from doing so, painting images of sadness and strife. She turned and laid on her back, grunting at the pain that went through her body. She exhaled and watched the ceiling, irritation creeping up in her head. She closed her eyes and felt tears escape from her eyes. She closed her eyes tighter and felt more tears fall, for the first time since she remembered, Cai was sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking and it was hard to breathe from the sounds of her crying.

_What did I do to deserve this? What?! What did I do?!_

When her tears had lessened slightly, she found her body exhausted and was barely able to keep her eyes open. In no time, she had finally fallen asleep, her brows furrowed indicating the pain she felt before she found peaceful, temporary oblivion.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Guys, I am super, uber, really, really sorry that it's taken me such a long time to get this chapter out. I put alot of thought into this and I really hope you'll enjoy it. Thanks for all the followers and favorites. I hope I didn't let any of you down. As always you can message or review or whatever you feel like. Again, I'm so sorry for this taking forever to get out. Enjoy!_

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><p>Chapter 06<p>

For once, there was almost pure silence in the Normandy at nighttime. Joker and the others had been working on the repairs all day and the faint sounds of the repairs still in progress could be heard. Garrus sighed, how long had it been since he had been able to hear the welcome relief of silence, he wondered. Like Tali had said a long time ago, the silence of the Normandy made her uneasy. She was so used to the sounds of the ships on the Flotilla that being in a silent ship made her wonder if something was wrong. Garrus finally understood what she had meant, because he now felt the same. Usually he heard people screaming back and forth, heavy footsteps against the floor as people moved among the ship. Now, standing in the Main Battery, he heard nothing but the sounds of his repairs. He recalled the times that Cai would come into the Main Battery in an attempt to talk to him. He would hear the door opening, and that's when the nervousness would set in. His heart would beat so quick and so loud that sometimes he was sure that she would be able to hear it. Even if she did, she didn't say anything. She would always wait until the door closed, taking two soft steps until she was behind him. Humans radiated warmth, but with Cai, he would never tell if it was because of her warmth or because his body was feeling that effect of the thing humans called _blushing_. Maybe it was a combination of the two. His fingers would shake as he tried to type on the keyboard and then he'd hear her say his name.  
>"Garrus." Sometimes, when he was alone, he would think about what to say to her if she came in to see him. So many choices and thoughts ran through his head. Yet when he would turn around and see her, all of those would be taken right out of his head, leaving his mind blank. All his brain would be able to muster up would be,<br>"Cai." or "Shepard." and he'd stand there like an idiot, mentally cursing himself that he hadn't been able to say something different. Sometimes she would come in to check on the Normandy's status, even though she could ask EDI and sometimes she would just come in to talk to him.  
>"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Like an idiot, he'd look back at the keyboard and then at her.<br>"Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations." She would smile and depart and he'd give her a nod. He would watch her leave and then turn back to his keyboard and slap his hand against his face and exhale.

Garrus couldn't help but smile mentally at the memories of her coming to talk to him. He was such an idiot. How could someone be in the middle of calibrations all the time? Most of the time he just made up an excuse not to talk to her, not because he didn't _want _to. No, he'd sit there and listen to her for hours even if she was explaining how Humans made that thing she drank sometimes in the mornings called _'coffee'_, just because it was her talking. He made up the excuse so he would be able to think of something interesting to talk to her about. The last thing he would want to do was annoy or bore her. If she had been able to see through his excuse—which he was sure she did, because Cai was the smartest woman he ever met—she never said anything about it. The more he thought about not boring her or being an idiot in front of her, the more nervous he would get, then make up an excuse.  
><em>Not even a different one.. But the same one all the time... <em>

Then he looked like a bigger idiot and he was sure he was boring her. After all, she had better things to do than to come and talk to him, but she always made time. The least he could've done was talk to her. But no, she was making time to talk to him even with the galaxy needing her at every passing second and all he could come up was "calibrations".

_One does not simply talk to a woman _that _beautiful._

The one time that he could think of where he hadn't acted like a _complete _idiot was when her and Kasumi had went on this mission to get a gray box of some sort. Apparently, it was really important to Kasumi, and Cai had offered her assistance. He had told her to come and talk to him and to let him know that she was alright. When she had come, the last thing he expected to see her in was that dress. He stood there stunned. It had hugged her in all the right places, jewelry hung from her neck and dropped just above her cleavage. Two things had shocked him. One, he found himself jealous of the dress that was hugging her curves. Two, he had reached behind him and touched a key causing the door to close and lock. She had turned around and for once _he _had surprised _her_. He watched her turn around and found that her cheeks were a crimson red. Apparently, she hadn't been expecting that. He had closed the distance between them and watched as Cai turned her head shyly away from him. Garrus had touched her face and turned her to face him again and placed his forehead against her's. Garrus leaned down and kissed her, holding her in place by her hips. The only person who ever saw her shy side was him. He remembered when he had parted their lips, she had looked down. He had tilted her head up by her chin to look at him.

_I never want anyone but me to see this face of yours._

Coming back to reality, Garrus realized he had stopped typing on the keyboard. Everything he had been thinking of had been her. Memories. Past tense. _Was. Had. _He had never hated those two words more in his life than when he thought about her. There was no present tense. No future tense. Yet, she was and will always be his past, present, and future. Garrus felt the familiar sensation of depression and tears stinging behind his eyes and that painful clench in his chest ebbing into his body again. He hung his head and sighed. If he hadn't used the excuse about calibrations so much, He would've been able to spend more time with her.

EDI's voice came over the speaker system.  
>"Repairs complete." She reported. A few moments after EDI's report, sirens were heard around the Normandy, signaling trouble. Garrus opened the door to the Main Battery and looked around. The crew was moving around, some looking puzzled and confused, and others were straight to business of running their posts. He made his move to get into the elevator and go to the bridge. The elevator stopped at every floor along the way and the rest of Garrus' friends entered the elevator, the same confused look on all of their faces.<p>

"What's going on?" Liara asked.

"Something is definitely wrong." Tali said as the door opened and they all hurried to the bridge.

Inside, Joker was tapping wildly on a monitor, EDI next to him, examining what looked like audio file.

"What happened?" Vega was the first to speak

"We received a distress signal." Joker answered.  
>"So, why did the ship sound an alert?" Tali asked.<br>"The message is of the utmost priority, which no doubt caused my distress signal to sound." EDI answered. "I am currently trying to reduce interference to make the message understandable."

An unrecognizable voice was heard when EDI pushed a button, heavy static filled the bridge. What sounded like rapid shots could be heard as the voice cut in and out.  
>"...Help...attacked...coordinates..." The message cut off.<p>

"I was able to extract the coordinates from the corrupted file. Jeff is currently placing them into my navigation system."

"You don't need to narrate everything I do, EDI."

"I apologize." EDI spoke. "Preparing for take off."

The familiar sensation of the Normandy taking off and flying into orbit made Garrus stare out of the glass. Cai had died so that this galaxy could be a better place. If there was anything that they could do to help make that a reality, even if it was just a small thing like helping a ship, he believed they'd all feel better if they did that. Apparently, Joker seemed to think the same thing. As soon as they were in orbit, he put the Normandy to high speed and dashed towards the coordinates the ship had left in the message. Sounds of shots and the familiar sound of ships being hit could be heard as they came closer to their destination. Garrus just hoped they'd make it in time.

_Don't let us fail again..._


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: I figured that it would only be fair to you all if I posted another chapter and I didn't want to forget where I was going with this. As usual, reviews and messages are welcome. Thanks so much and I hope you enjoy._

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><p>Chapter 07<p>

Cai had been sleeping peacefully, finally able to escape everything that had happened. In her dreams, there was nothing but her and Garrus. For once, her breathing was serene and even and a smile was even on her lips. She felt like she had done something good for once. She didn't have that weight on her heart. Cai felt free. Of course, nothing stayed serene and calm with her. She couldn't even escape the screams in her dreams. Suddenly, she was all alone in a black abyss, like she had been when she was trapped under the rubble back on Earth. Voices filled her head, screams and yelling. The sound of explosions were all around her. Desperate to get away from the screaming and the explosions, Cai began to run. She couldn't tell if she was actually running away from it, or if she was running in place. More explosions, but they sounded louder. Cold blood ran through her veins as the echoes of screams and explosions rang louder and louder in her ears. Her breathing became rapid and her chest was clenching. Looking around for help was no use, for she was completely alone. Even when she was in the midst of the war against the Reapers, she had never been alone. Strength to walk, let alone run, gave out and she fell to her knees in the impenetrable, black abyss. In an attempt to block out everything that was sounding around her, becoming louder, she covered her ears and huddled up into herself. The screams and explosions seemed to be tangible objects closing in around her and making it harder and harder to breathe.

"Stop!" Cai screamed at the top of her lungs.

Cai opened up her blue eyes and looked around. The first thing that she noticed was color. Four walls. A floor that she had felt beneath her, and the bed that she had apparently fallen from in the midst of her sleep. Cold sweat drenched her hair and forehead. Her breathing was shaky.

_It's all over now. Calm down._

She tried her hardest to tell herself this. There was no way that she was going to get any sleep with the dreams that were still haunting her. As Cai began to walk, the sounds of explosions and the screams were heard once again. For a moment, she thought that she was in another nightmare until she felt the Alpha shaking and found herself on the floor of her cabin. Pain radiated through her body, but that pain was proof that this wasn't a dream. This was reality, but unfortunately, that meant that whatever was happening was reality as well. Alpha's shaking didn't cease, but Cai still managed to stand up. Holding onto the wall for support, she took step after step towards the bridge, trying to remember the path that Jack had guided her through. In no time, Cai was back at the bridge, holding onto the wall for support when Alpha shook more violently.

"I thought you said that you knew how to pilot a fucking ship!" The first voice that Cai heard upon entering the bridge was Jack's.

"I never said I was a certified pilot!" Kasumi argued back. "Who the hell do I look like?! Joker?!"

Cai looked out of the glass to see that they were surrounded by three ships, all at least two times bigger than the Alpha.

"What's going on?!" Cai demanded, stepping between Jack and Kasumi before they started to strangle each other.

"It-"

"It looks like a small fleet of Krogan mercenaries." Wrex explained.

Before Cai could say anything, more shots rang out of the other ships and she felt the Alpha shake once more. Warning sounds came from the ship.

"Shields down to 25%!" Kasumi announced, trying to fight the mercenaries' ships. "These guns shoot like a .45!"

"This isn't a goddamn warship!" Jack yelled back.

"This isn't helping!" Grunt yelled. Cai looked around. She wished that they had Joker around right now. He'd be able to get them out of here with no problem. Then again, the Normandy was a warship, and as Jack pointed out, the Alpha was the furthest thing away from a warship that it could be. The only good thing about that was that they were quicker.

"Move between those ships!" Cai instructed, pointing to the space between the biggest and smallest of the ships. No doubt these Krogan were here to salvage whatever they could from the aftermath of the war and take back for credits, hired to take down everything in their path. It amazed her that there were people who were still thinking about credits at a time like this and were willing to take down and salvage destroyed ships and corpses to get a small amount of credits.

"Shields down to 10%" Kasumi announced above everyone's yelling while taking the path that Cai had instructed. Cai looked around what was now a battlefield and saw that the ships were turning around, but were having a difficult time doing so.

"Asian girl!" Wrex said, looking at the ships. "Get us out of here!" All eyes turned to Kasumi as she attempted to do so, not even making a motion to correct or get angry at Wrex. She pushed button after button on the console trying her hardest.

"Damn." She muttered, pressing another button. Beads of sweat were on her hairline. Alpha wasn't moving faster than a fast pace, but full drive didn't seem like it was working.  
>"What's wrong?" Cai asked.<p>

"They hit the hyper drive core." Kasumi said.

"You had _one _job, Kasumi! One!" Jack yelled.

"You yelling isn't going to make it better!"

Cai's mind was working every possible angle it could at the moment. An intense fear filled her. This wasn't anywhere near close to armed like the Normandy was. She didn't know what the Alpha was equipped with.

"Why can't we just run?" Grunt asked.

"The hyper drive core is unresponsive." Cai informed, looking at the ships. "Even if it was working perfectly, there was no way we'd get out of here in time." Another shot hit the Alpha and Cai fell down, seeing Kasumi's head hit against the console. Cai looked and saw that Jack had fallen against a chair and being the powerhouses that Grunt and Wrex were, they merely stumbled at the impact. Cai grabbed at the back of Kasumi's chair and got up. She watched Kasumi rub her forehead.

"Ow..." She mumbled and looked at the damage report. "Shields are destroyed, hull is at 45%." Cai noticed that Kasumi's voice sounded like she was going to give up.

"Kasumi, can you send out a distress signal?" Cai asked, looking over to see Jack staring at the Krogan mercenary ships. Fear and realization that they might not make it out of here was seeping into her look. After some typing on the console Cai heard Kasumi sigh. "I can try, but the communication system is severely damaged." Cai saw that some hope had been restored to the friends that she had. Cai had this idea, she was the reason they were here. She wasn't going to let them die. She quickly helped Kasumi navigate the now flaming Alpha to another safe spot and shoot at the ships. After a few more shots, the smallest of the mercenary ships had blown and was now a pile of rubble in space.

"Do it." She said.

"It's ready."

"This is Commander Cai Shepard of the Alpha." She began. "We need help! We're being attacked by a fleet of Krogan mercenaries and our ship is severely damaged! Any ships that are nearby, please! Our pilot will be sending the coordinates in this message. Please, hurry!" Kasumi quickly sent the message.

Cai helped Kasumi dodge the oncoming assault from the last two ships. The main ship didn't look to even be scratched while the second one was flaming. The Alpha was barely able to move and Cai felt dispare sinking into her. If they blew up, there was no coming back for her. She'd be the cause of everyone's death here. Her friends, her _best _friends.

"Hull in critical condition..." Kasumi's voice was choking up and Cai didn't have to look to see that she was fighting back tears.

"Heh, I never thought I'd be taken down by my own kind, before I even got to meet my kid..." Wrex tried to joke, but it was obvious that he had given up hope too.

"..." Cai wanted to utter something. An 'I'm sorry'. Something. Anything. She closed her eyes when she heard the sound of a shot being fired. The shot had hit a ship, but nothing happened. She opened her eyes and saw that the mercenary ship that was flaming was now joining the smaller ship in a pile of metal.

Cai quickly opened her eyes and saw that another ship had arrived.

"Is that...?" Grunt looked at the familiar looking ship coming closer to the battlefield.

"Alpha, this is the Normandy SR-2!" Joker's voice was heard over their comm unit.

"I've never been so happy to hear that idiot's voice in my whole life." Jack said and exhaled.

"We shall take the battle now." EDI's voice was the next one that they heard. "Please fall back, you are critically injured."

"She's starting to state the obvious," Wrex said. "She's been hanging out with Garrus."

_Garrus..._

Cai broke into a wide smile and helped Kasumi move the Alpha behind the Normandy.

Compared to the Normandy, that Krogan ship had no chance. Everything that the Normandy had was being fired at the huge ship and in no time the ship had exploded, leaving another hunk of metal in this field of space. Kasumi started laughing out of relief and sat back in her chair, wiping the beads of sweat off of her forehead.

"I wasn't even worried..." Wrex said, looking away. Cai looked at her friends and smiled. She figured that the least she could do was take them out for drinks after this. She thought that they deserved that much. She couldn't tell them how grateful she was to have met them.

"Thanks..." Cai said. Jack put up her hand and shook her head.  
>"C'mon, none of that touchy-feely, self help yoga crap." She said with a smirk on her face.<p>

"Occupants of the Alpha, put on your space suits and we'll let you aboard." Joker said. Cai wished that their communications wasn't damaged so they could respond, but it didn't matter. She smiled and one by one they put on their space suits. The Normandy took its place next to the Alpha and waited.

It took some awkward movement of jumping through space with mag boots on to get from the Alpha to the Normandy, but after a few attempts, both Humans and Krogan were aboard the ship.

"Decontamination in progress." They heard repeatedly as the gridded slider moved back and forth in the airlock. "Equalizing exterior pressure with interior atmosphere. After what felt like forever, the airlock door opened to reveal Cai and the others face-to-face with the rest of her friends. The unshackled AI, with the brittle-boned pilot, the Quarian mechanic, the smart-mouthed soldier, the Asari Prothean expert, and _him. Archangel._

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><p><em>Author's Note: I'm not very good at writing fighting scenes, so I hope you liked it and that I did alright. Thanks again for reading.<em>


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Knight of Kanto is like my new favorite person. Really makes me happy that I decided to write this. So thanks for that, Knight of Kanto. You're the best! Here's another chapter, and I hope you all enjoy!_

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><p>Chapter 08<p>

Garrus was surprised that a small ship like that had been able to hold out against three heavily armed Krogan mercenary ships. Whoever was on board, they had to have one hell of a pilot.

"Occupants of the Alpha, put on your space suits and we'll let you aboard." Garrus looked at Joker in surprise. He was so anal about letting just anyone onto the Normandy. He remembered when Cai had let Elunaa on the ship and how much of a fuss he had pitched about how _'she's crazy' _or _'she's related to you?! She'll blow something up!' _and things like that. Letting the whole crew of a ship was completely unlike him. Then again... maybe Joker felt like he had a duty to wait and help people that were in dire situations considering they had left Cai.

_Cai would've done the same... She would've went out of her way to help those people._

He sighed and rubbed the side of his face where the tell tale scars were.

_Some women find facial scars attractive. _He remembered telling her.

Back when he was informed that she died when the Normandy was blown up, he had became Archangel. His goal—unspoken to anyone—was to keep fighting and fighting until he died. What else did he have to live for? He reprimanded himself every day that he hadn't gotten the courage to tell Cai how he felt about her. It was always a mixture of fear and anxiousness when he thought about it. Then, like a miracle, she had come to him. Like a beacon. When he saw her, he had a reason to live. He remembered when the rocket was fired. Everything moved in slow motion and he didn't even think, his body just moved to cover her's. When he had woken up, the first thing he asked Dr. Chakwas was,  
>"Is Cai okay...?" Even Dr. Chakwas was surprised by his direct question.<p>

_Some women find facial scars attractive. _The sentence rang in his head. He had said it to her, just joking, but he said it to her. He remembered feeling his blood run cold and his mandibles flaring, wishing that he could take it back and run away.

_How could someone so short and _Human _make him want to turn tail and run? _If he had known that those scars would've brought her closer to him, he would've jumped in front of a rocket for her a long time ago. When she had touched those scars for the first time, her touch was so soft and so intimate at the same time. He couldn't help but lean in and touch his forehead against her's.

"What the hell's going on?" The voice Garrus heard caused him to return to reality. Elunaa came to the bridge, rubbing her eyes. They were red-rimmed and he was sure that she'd cried herself to sleep. "How's anyone supposed to get sleep with all these loud battle sounds?"

"We apprehended a distress signal and came to assist the Alpha. The passengers are currently boarding the Normandy via Jeff's request." EDI explained to the tired Elunaa.

"Joker's letting someone board the Normandy?" She asked in disbelief and paused. "I suppose that sound is mag boots."

"You are correct. I sense five people boarding." EDI answered. The familiar sound of an automated voice filled the silence that had descended upon the group.

_'Decontamination in progress. Decontamination in progress.' _The voice continued to speak. Elunaa was fidgeting as the voice continued. Tali was playing with her fingers and watching the door. Finally, after what felt like forever, the outsiders were decontaminated and the next step in boarding the Normandy straight from space. _'Equalizing exterior pressure with interior atmosphere. Equalizing exterior pressure with interior atmosphere.' _From the corner of his eyes, Garrus was able to see everyone staring in anticipation at the door.

Suddenly, the doors opened to show five people in space suits face-to-face with the rest of them. No one moved. No one knew how to break the silence. What would be a good conversation starter? How the hell would he know, he wasn't good at making conversations that weren't awkward.

"Are you alright?" No, that sounded too generic. "Some battle out there." No, he didn't want to seem like they were insulting them. After all, they knew that they didn't stand a chance. That's why they had sent out the distress signal after all. Liara opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to figure out something to say. Tali shifted awkwardly while Vega folded and unfolded his arms. Joker leaned against EDI, having difficulty standing for a long period of time, and EDI—the solid wall of steel and metal—that she was, didn't move and let Joker lean on her for support.

"What the hell? Aren't any of you going to ask how we are?" The one on the far left asked, jokingly angry. The person—obviously a Krogan from the frame—chuckled slightly. Garrus felt his eyes widen. How could he forget that voice?

"Wrex?" Liara asked before he could even get the words out. The Krogan on the left lifted off his helmet, the slight '_hss' _sound resonating for a few seconds. Sure enough, the smart-mouthed Krogan was standing before them.

"Since when have any of you ever been nervous?" The next person took off their helmet, and putting it under her arm.

"Kasumi?" Tali asked, obviously confused. What were they all doing here? In the middle of what was once a battlefield. In such a small ship nevertheless.

"She crashed my goddamn ship." The next helmet came off and Jack shook her head.

"It was a shitty ship anyway. Even you have to admit that." The next helmet came off to reveal the second Krogan, Grunt.

Silence had fallen over the group again. The last one—standing in the middle still had their helmet on. From the frame, Garrus could easily tell that it was a woman.

"What the hell are you guys doing all the way out here?" Elunaa asked.  
>"Since when were you a pilot, Kasumi?" Joker asked, raising an eyebrow.<p>

"They were helping me." The voice was distorted from the felt his eyes widen. He was rooted to his spot, unable to move, breathe, or think. Two hands went to the edges of her helmet and undid the latches and pulled it over her head.

Garrus stared at the person in front of him. Her hair was tousled from wearing the helmet and sticking up in every direction. There was no way. If Cerberus wasn't destroyed, he would've bet on his life that this was another clone.

_What life I have without her anyway._

But this wasn't a clone. There was no way. The blue eyes were definitely hers. The woman in front of him smiled and tilted her head to the left. That wasn't something a clone could grasp. She smiled. He saw those little lines on the corners of her eyes when she smiled brightly. He was afraid to open his mouth and say anything. If he said anything maybe someone would look at him and remind him that she was dead and that illusion was shattered.

"C-..." His voice caught in his throat.

"I told you," The woman said and took a step towards him. "There's no Shepard without Vakarian." It _was _her.

In a second, Garrus closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't care who saw them. He didn't care that she was supposed to be his commanding officer. She was so tiny and fit so perfectly in his arms. At first she was surprised by the hug, but the next breath he took she had dropped her helmet onto the ground and wrapped her arms around him. He was sure that he had to be dreaming. That his brain was doing this to play a trick on him. A sick, twisted trick. But, when he hugged her tighter, he knew this was no dream. He could feel her body heat. Her arms were around him, her head was against his chest. This was real. _She _was real. He closed his eyes and felt his body shake with the tremors from his tears.

"I love you." Garrus whispered against her hair, in front of them all, his voice cracking from the tears that were making her hair wet.

He felt movement and looked down and met eye contact with her.

The sound of footsteps echoed further and further away, signaling everyone else's retreat, when the footsteps had gone far enough, he felt Cai put her head on his chest. Garrus wanted to look in her eyes again. They were so beautiful and no one else had eyes like her's.

"And I love you." He heard her say, making his heartbeat quicken at her soft voice. He looked down and tilted her chin to look up at him. His mandibles flared slightly as he smiled, seeing Cai's cheeks turn a crimson red and her eyes looking away. He ran his fingers through her hair and trailed his hand down her face to make her look at him again. He pulled her closer by her waist and leaned down and kissed her. Their kiss was gentle, but full of emotion. He broke the kiss and looked at her face. Tears were in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. He held her face in his hands and wiped away the tears with the pads of his thumbs.

"Cai..." He whispered, watching her cry. He had never seen her cry before. It broke his heart. He never wanted to see her cry. He wanted to stop those tears, make her smile again.

"I was so scared..." He heard her voice crack. Garrus wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks again.

"I won't let anything happen to you ever again. I'll protect you, Cai." Garrus promised. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. She protected him, made sure that he was safe. That was his job. He needed her. It _had _to be her. The one that was by his side.

_I love you. More than anything._


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I'm really happy that I decided to write this. Thanks again to Knight of Kanto for taking the time to favorite/follow/review. You're the best. For the others that are reading or have favorited and followed, here's another one for you. I hope you enjoy this one as well._

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><p>Chapter 09<p>

Cai stared at the people in front of her. Her friends whom had joined her from the strangest circumstances from being rescued from the Geth, from being asked to join the fight against Saren since it would help her pilgrimage and everything in between. Then there he stood, the love of her life. It was strange to her. They had come so far from him meeting up with her at the C-Sec building and asking if he could accompany her on the journey to take Saren down. When she first met Garrus, she never would've thought that they would be where they were at this moment. To be honest, she had always thought that Turians were attractive, but there was just something about Garrus that was completely different. Perhaps it was his awkward demeanor that she had fallen for. As cliché as it sounded, she never believed in fate or true love until she met him.

The silence was suffocating and it seemed that neither of them knew what to do next. She herself was stunned into silence at seeing them again. She had lost all hope, something that she never did. She was sure that she would never see Garrus again. Never see _any _of them, yet here they were.

"What the hell? Aren't any of you going to ask us how we are?" Wrex spoke, causing Cai to come out of her trance. Her eyes didn't leave them though. One by one, each of her friends had removed their helmet, their friends having a more surprised look every time. Out of all the ships and all the star clusters, they had rescued the one that contained some of their closest friends? They had the strangest odds in the galaxy. Behind the visor of her helmet, she felt tears gather in her eyes. Garrus' eyes were widening, but his eyes had remained on her the entire time. After all, she was the odd one out. She hadn't spoken or moved, or anything.

"Since when were you a pilot, Kasumi?" Cai heard and looked over at Joker who was leaning on EDI.

"They were helping me."

All eyes turned to Cai when she removed the helmet. Some blinked, others rubbed their eyes to make sure that they weren't seeing things, even EDI looked surprised, and for an AI—that was saying something. The silence had fallen over them again and she felt like it was her job to break it. After all, she was the one who had defeated the odds again.

"Keelah..." Tali spoke in a whisper, so small that if one wasn't paying attention, they would've missed it. Cai noticed how all their faces seemed to pale when they saw her, like they had seen a ghost. Cai turned her head and looked at Garrus, giving him a small smile. She was so happy to see him again. Yet, he looked scared. Like he was terrified to believe that she might be back, of course, when she thought about it she couldn't really blame him.

"I told you," Cai began, taking a small step towards Garrus, hoping to prove to him that it was her. That she was really back and she was there in front of him. "There's no Shepard without Vakarian."

She wanted to say something else, but her Turian boyfriend wouldn't allow it. In a heartbeat, he had taken her in his arms and held her tightly. Cai closed her eyes tightly and put her head against his chest. In the midst of his grasp, she had dropped her helmet and gripped onto him like her life depended on it. She fit so perfectly it was like she was meant to be there. Here in his arms, Cai couldn't help but reflect on what had happened through their time together, memories flooded through her, that one time when they went on that date on the Citadel, where he was trying to prove that he was a better sniper and how she had purposefully missed so that she wouldn't wound his pride.  
><em>I am Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel! <em>He had exclaimed into the air. Those were the moments when she was reminded of why she had fallen so hard for him. He was tall, wonderful, an excellent sniper, a great friend, a wonderful partner. At the same time he was awkward, dorky, shy, he got nervous really quickly, he stated the obvious a lot, but he loved her. There would be those times where he'd just hold her hand, or hold her face in his hands. He always treated her special. Like she was a precious jewel. Something to be treasured. And he did. He treasured her.

Cai tightened her grip around him, feeling peace and happiness finally sink into her. She was finally with him again, and everything was going to be okay. She didn't ask for a lot in life, she had to give up a lot.

_I'm not giving him up. To no one. _She had promised that to herself a long time ago. It felt like tremors were coursing through her body and she looked up to see that he was crying. In the whole time that she had known Garrus Vakarian, she had never seen him cry. He didn't cry when he saw the destruction on Palavan. He didn't cry when he didn't know where his father and sister were. Now, he was holding her tightly crying. Her nerve endings were on fire, pain grasping at every single one when he embraced her. She didn't care about that though, he was crying. In front of everyone, but he didn't seem to care.

"I love you." He said through his tears. His cracked voice made her chest clench. What had he been thinking about in the time that he thought she was gone? How much had he suffered? His cries turned to sobs and she could feel tear droplets on her tousled hair. She wanted to let him know that she was here, that she wasn't going anywhere. Not now, not ever. She was here to stay with him. Always and forever.

The sounds of her friends and sister's footsteps getting further and further away neither hindered nor encouraged her to look up at him. How could she convey how she felt to him? That he didn't need to worry anymore. He could pretend it was all a bad dream and forget it. He wouldn't have to feel that pain ever again. She placed her hand against his chest where she could feel his heart beating under her hand. He looked at her and without another word, she took his hand and placed it on her chest so he could feel her beating heart.  
><em>I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere Garrus. <em>She placed her head on his chest, still holding his hand in both of her's.

"And I love you." She told him.

Cai felt her face being lifted to look directly in his eyes. Slate blue gray had always struck her as beautiful and unique, even for a Turian. If there was one word that could be used to describe the Turians, it would be "_Unique"._ She saw the flicker of his mandibles, giving her a small smile. She felt her face relax into a smile unconsciously. When she looked back up and locked eye contact, she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. He was smiling with such a peaceful look in his eyes. Everything that he had been tormented with this whole time, was ebbing away. Such intensity in his gaze made her look away, shyly. His fingers ran through her hair, tousling it up even more than it already was. Goosebumps rose on her skin as his fingers ran along her face with ghost-like softness and held her chin gently. Cai's blue eyes looked down at what little space there was between their bodies when Garrus tilted her face up to look at him.

When Garrus pulled her closer by her waist, she didn't have any space to look at anymore and she unconsciously glanced at him. Cai noticed he took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her. It was soft at first, gentle. It was like he was testing the waters to see if she would resist. Cai knew that if she resisted—even a little bit—Garrus wouldn't press the issue and he'd let her go. Heat rose in her cheek, and the woman of so many words was stunned into silence. She brought her lips closer, her eyes closing when he closed the distance between them and kissed her once more. She had seen many people of many different races making out on the Citadel, but this kiss was nothing like that. Passion. Emotion. Love. They were all felt, but there was no need for extreme displays. Such a gentle kiss was able to prove how he felt about her. Tears welled in her eyes and fell down her cheeks as she kissed him.

_I love you, Garrus._

Cai opened her eyes when their kiss broke, from her tears she was barely able to see him in front of her. Gently, he took her face in his hands and wiped the tears away. Such gentleness made more tears fall down her cheeks. Never once did he let go of her, he just continued to wipe away the tears from her eyes. She realized how close she was to losing this. Losing him. Any hope of a happy future.

"Cai..." His voice was soft and made her look up at him.

"I... I was so scared." She admitted. Never before had she admitted such a thing, just broke down like that. Once she admitted that truth, the tears wouldn't stop and just kept going.

"I won't let anything happen to you ever again. I'll protect you, Cai." All this time, she had felt like the one that had to do the protecting. The fate of everyone and everything was on her shoulders. Garrus' promise simply made her nod. How was she going to argue with something like that? With a voice like that?

It _had _to be him. The one that was by her side.

_I love you. More than anything._

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><p><em>Another Author's Note: Not even going to lie, I got a little choked up here. That's kinda weird for me considering I'm the one writing it, you know? Anyway, feel free to do the reviewing and the like.<em>


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Thanks so much you guys for everything. All of you who's favorite/followed/reviewed, or even just read. It still means alot to me. I hope you all have enjoyed it._

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

Garrus stood, overlooking the ocean that was outside his home. Cai had always told him that she loved the beach and she had never gotten to go since she was a child because of Miindoir and her almost immediate application into the Alliance Military. She had told him once that she would've loved to come back. Before that final battle, he had said that when it was all over, they'd retreat somewhere nice and warm.

"By the beach." She had added. After all, he hated the cold. At the same time, he had thought it would've been funny for them to live by the beach. After all, Turians were _not _good at swimming. Him in particular. There was a lot of flailing and frantic paddling that was involved in his attempt at swimming. So, needless to say, he had always found himself sitting or standing, watching the waves rise and fall.

The sun was high above him in the sky, marking the middle of another peaceful day for Garrus Vakarian. For a long time afterwards, he had been worried that something was going to happen and he'd be thrust right back into that world that he'd thought he had retired from. However, with the years that had passed since then, him—and the rest of his friends—had gotten used to the idea that they were finally free of everything and were free to go about their own lives and live how they pleased without looking over their shoulders every few minutes to make sure that nothing was about to kill them. Cai had been the worst about that. It was a sad thought remembering those times. She had been so scared the first couple of weeks. She had said that she had nightmares and he remembered that she'd wake up screaming.

"That's all in the past now." He muttered to himself.

_Earth's really beautiful._ She had told him once. Or twice, she had a habit of repeating things when she got really excited about something. The thought of her being able to go back to Earth and revel in something beautiful after the huge war made that smile appear on her face. He wouldn't have guessed coming here after all that time that it would've truly been this beautiful. He had spotted the home one his first trip here and found that he liked it. However, Palavan was where his father and sister were—now safe—and he felt slightly obligated to return there. Every time he came back to Earth to visit, he'd see the home. He felt like it would be a slap in the face to the memory if he didn't find a way to come and stay in this part of Earth's beauty.

Joker and the others came by to see how he was. They were currently trying to figure out a way to separate EDI's intelligence from the Normandy itself. Jacob had his baby, Samara would visit her daughter at the monastery. Jack was still trying to teach those kids and from what he heard from Kasumi, she was putting more money into that swear jar daily. Grunt was second-in-command of the Urdnot clan, making sure to take over when Wrex was taking care of his kid, which was obviously quite often. Liara had went back to being the Shadow Broker, but mostly studied more Prothean artifacts. Vega had been sulking for years at his failure of making Cai fall in love with him. He couldn't count how many pizzas he'd had in the time. Kasumi was moving on from Keiji's memories in the gray box. Elunaa was trying to help Joker detach EDI from the Normandy. Tali had been helping the Quarians rebuild their home on Rannoch. The years had been kind to his friends and he couldn't have asked for anything more. They deserved every bit of it.

The sounds of splashing came from the beach and screaming.

"Daddy!" He heard and looked to see Ania running, well, more trotting through the sand and over to him and clenched her hands opened and closed as she reached for him and stood on her tiptoes. Garrus couldn't help but smile and pick up his daughter. "Daddy, I'm thirsty." Ania had said with a pout on her face.

"What do you want?"

"..." Ania played with the collar of his shirt as she thought. "I dunno..." She finally settled on. Garrus watched his daughter look at her hands playing with his collar and frowned. "I'm really thirsty though, Daddy..."

"Why don't you ask Mommy if she wants anything?" Garrus asked, looking at the water to see Cai, waving happily at him and Ania, the sunlight catching a gleam of metal on her left ring finger.

Ania turned her head and looked at the water. She wiggled out of her father's grasp and trotted back over to the edge of the water.

"Mommy, do you want something to drink?" She called.

"No, sweetie. I'm fine." Ania nodded and trotted her way back over to her father.

Garrus looked over at Cai who held a smile for him.

_He always thought that she needed him..._

Of course, naturally, he couldn't help but smile back at her.

_But truthfully... She was the one that needed him._


End file.
